dilemma

Salam...

almost a year now.. even though my 'mental n heart' torture come to visit once in a while, i manage to keep him away, omit those heartache n yeah.. still single.. i mean.. no more reading the same book over and over again...

last year, around this date (approximately).. i did something stupid yet funny.. *hehe .. but..trust me.. masa tu sangat sangat tidak waras...

tapi.. why n why skrg ni i feel like doing 'it' again? :'(
Help.. my heart says 'do it', but my mind says 'pls dont let the world know you're stupid'

why no? because..
1. i think he's taken.. at least, his heart is.. n my very first rule in relationship ;

"never ever ever EVER ambik or kacau org punye... walaupun there's no other guy left in this whole universe.. jgn ambik pompuan lain punye"

.. and becoz that's my rule since i was a child, i'll never neglect them.

2. i think, i'm not over my ex.. not yet.. coz sometimes i thnk about him... but i shuhh shuhh him away.. so, i don wanna use other person as rebound or whatever-people-call-it

it's a four years relationship.. four years in my eyes, only him.. so, wat do u expect? i cant just flush him away right...ohh.. but i hate him.. he.made.me.suffer.heart.and.soul.

3. becoz i don want to look stupiddddd.. =.=!

why yes? because...

1. my heart says its the right thing to do.. sometimes, when we do something, it doesn't mean we want something back in return.. but we did it becoz we wanted to....

okay.. i'm in a dilemma.

so, dear awak.. aci x kalau awk bagi hint sikit whether awk tunggu or tak? whether awak nk or x? o whether u expect something or u just dont care..

k..dats all.. adios amigos..

p/s : ahad ni tetibe kna join tournament hoki.. last main hoki yg btl2 main mase sekolah rndh yer.. F bodek2 srh join sbb x ckp org lam team.. and sy dgn separuh hatinya jadi player tangkap muat... moga2 x de kecederaan or biru2 nanti.. amin..